In going through my old posts recently, I noticed a theme coming up more often than I realized: fear. I have talked about my fear of childbirth, fear of stereotypes, fear of putting myself out there, and the list goes on. It’s true, I generally have a deep fear of the unknown. And as a creative person, I have a deep fear of letting my talents and true self shine. On a regular basis, I have to make a conscious effort to pull my thoughts away from the unhealthy place of worry and conquer the fear that can make life difficult to live freely. Especially when it comes to my blog.
In thinking about this part of myself, I felt inspired to write about how I cope with these feelings of fear. And not only that, how I ultimately push through them… most of the time! I imagine there are so many others out there, hiding something about themselves that’s just bursting to gleam through. There are lots of ways to conquer fear in order to shine. But with the help of my amazing therapist, I now have a go-to mental exercise for when I’m feeling scared of trying something new, meeting new people, or showing my vulnerabilities. It comprises of two questions:
Fear Question #1: What’s the worst thing that could happen?
Let’s use my blog as the example here, and it’s the most visible illustration of how this works. “Tell me the worst case scenario,” my therapist prompted as a struggled to put my anxious thoughts over the blog into words. So breathed in, and went down the list all the horribly terrifying things that I was convinced were going to happen.
Judgment and negative opinions were number one. Surely, no one would like what I would have to say. They were definitely going to judge my views and experiences, right? People would read my blog and immediately think I was a bad writer. They would laugh off my efforts as a worthless vanity project. It was going to be a huge, embarrassing flop.
The more I verbalized my fearful outlook, the more ridiculous is started to sound. First of all, I don’t judge or think negatively of others for putting themselves out there. So why am I assuming the worst for me? And let’s say you are reading this and thinking that what I have to say is utter trash. Does that really matter in the grand scheme of things? No one is dying and the world is not ending!! Where did I get this idea that I needed to please everyone? What really matters is that I’m pleasing myself.
Fear Question #2: What’s the best thing that could happen?
This is the fun part! After getting out all of the jitters, it’s time to lift yourself up. Think about all of the amazing, fun things that could happen if you faced your fears and gave something scary a shot. Don’t hold back… the sky’s the limit.
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For my blog, it’s so hard to choose what would be the top goal. Pretty far up there would be expanding my readership and turning what I love to do into a lucrative career. As fulfilling as is it to write for myself, I would be remiss to not admit that I’d absolutely love for my blog to generate a following and income. Whether it be the blog itself, or outside opportunities that may come from what I share, I’m definitely hoping the blog leads to fulfilling my back account as well!
I also dream about making a positive in the world. Nothing would make me happier than to use my platform to give back. For years, I’ve had an idea for a non-profit that may be able to take off if my blog gains traction. Wouldn’t that be something? By opening up my mind to all of my wildest dreams, those bad things I just talked about? Pfft! Not even worth thinking about. Without risk, there is no reward. It’s pretty clear now that these “risks” have nothing on the incredible rewards that I have now opened myself up to.
It’s the little things
Even if none of the above happens – and I’m only able to hold on to a handful of readers – writing these posts, learning about blogging, and sharing my thoughts and feelings has already been such an incredible growth experience. And it’s only month one. Every time I think of giving up, or shutting the blog down due to fearful thoughts, I immediately pivot to how good my blog has already been for me. How much it has helped me shine! (And I know that sounds cheesy but IDGAF because it makes me happy)!
So the next time you’re faced with any fears that are blocking you from living your life to its absolute fullest, talk to yourself or a friend about the absolute worst things that could happen. Then focus on the best things that could happen. All of the sudden, you may find that the bad stuff is not so bad at all. And the good stuff is really, really good!
I’d love to hear if anyone else has taken this two question approach before! Or, do you have any other tried and true methods for conquering the fear of letting yourself shine? The more tools we have to help ourselves, the better!